Fear

01/Dec/2021 04:11 — Hello journal. Got myself a no-plan-plan for now, meaning I have not yet planned my day. I’m so used to sticking to plans that a no-plan-plan stirs up fear in me. Yes journal, that amygdalatic response. Fight, flight or freeze and get eaten.

01/Dec/2021 04:13 — Fear or anxiety is exclusively a cognitive response. I’m trying to understand, journal, how can I slow down these thoughts. Not knowing even the next task I will perform after this… I don’t know journal. Maybe it’s that ‘abyss’ I read about — that future which lies beyond me.

01/Dec/2021 04:16 — I would rather interpret the terrain of my mind as a levelled plane. No mountains or some scary abyss. If I feel tall, then it’s probably just me on my feet standing tall. If I feel down… I might just be on the floor. I can choose my own interpretation of how I attend to my destination.

01/Dec/2021 04:18 — Walking and walking… Body appreciates the exercise. It’s when fight, flight or freeze starts shouting to my face that my pace might suffer some dissonance. Body is just the matter which hosts my abstraction and it knows nothing of roars or shouts.

01/Dec/2021 04:22 — Yes, journal, I do exaggerate. Should a beast sneak up on me, Body might react. But that’s the nice thing about my comprehension: I can think before reacting… My reaction becomes action as soon as I decide. No beast can sneak up on me if Mind is aware.

01/Dec/2021 04:24 — I might do something about that no-plan-plan. As soon as I am done typing here, I will… Get myself a pen and paper and write down: breakfast and exercise.

01/Dec/2021 04:26 — That’s about it journal. No more fear or anxiety. The plan (although yet to be written) will be in effect soon. Thanks, journal.